Point system for a NEW FIREWIRE QUIVER purchase

[Fritzkat]

GENTLEMEN, REMEMBER IT WELL ......


In the world of romance, and getting points towards a new FIREWIRE QUIVER one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy.


Do something she likes, and you get points.


Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.


Sorry, that's the way the game is played.


Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:


SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed. (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow. (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)



GIFTS

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)

But return with Beer. (-5)


PROTECTIVE DUTIES

You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)

You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)

It's her pet. (-20)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side for the entire party. (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)

Named Tina (-10)

Tina is a dancer. (-20)

Tina has implants. (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner. (+2)

You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)

Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie. (+1)

You take her to a movie she likes. (+3)

You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)

You take her to a movie you like. (-2)

It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy

Hawaiian shirts. (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one, too." (-8000)


THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)

(Yes, you lose points no matter what)

You hesitate in responding. (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

You give any other response. (-20)


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)


Send this on to all of the gentlemen you know to refresh them on the point system. (and to the ladies you know with a good sense of humor!)

[iggy]

The HOW TO manual!!! ;)

[saxman1]

How many points until she buys you a new firewire? To funny man!!

[Slowman]

The problem is once women catch on to the fact that you have learned the rules and therefore start to accumulate points they change the rules! My wife told me!

[saxman1]

The problem is once women catch on to the fact that you have learned the rules and therefore start to accumulate points they change the rules! My wife told me!

So true, what once was a special thing you do for her is not. You decide to be a little nicer to her and bring coffee to her at work a couple times and next thing you know she is mad at you because you didn't bring her any coffee one week.

[iggy]

jajajajaja

The problem is once women catch on to the fact that you have learned the rules and therefore start to accumulate points they change the rules! My wife told me!

[core personal training]

i've copped the 8000 point penalty..!!..

the main flaw with this system is that you own everything jointly...and she controls the usage..!!!..or is it just me that married hitler..????

[iggy]

jajajaj Core there is a little Hitler on every single one!!!!

[iggy]

So true, what once was a special thing you do for her is not. You decide to be a little nicer to her and bring coffee to her at work a couple times and next thing you know she is mad at you because you didn't bring her any coffee one week.

Or she asks why are you being nice to her today, to which follows :"what have you done?"

[Slowman]

add one more

DISPUTES

Why are you even disagreeing? (-100)

Why are you continuing to disagree? (-1000)

Claiming to be right (-2000)

Having read her mind you state her point of view and agree with it (+200)

I think I am -3100 points this morning LOL