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"Nev's Cutting Room Floor" Contest
  • chrischris October 2011
    Posts: 4,998


    This is a fun little video.

    So we are going to run a little contest to see who can come up with the best name for a 'theoretical' board.  All you have to do is provide an -ATOR board name and a definition describing who the board is made for, see the example below:

    Board: The Impersonator
    Definition: For the guy that thinks he is surfing like his hero but is actually horrible.

    Submissions have to be in by Sunday, October 30th at 11:59 PST. 

    May the best board win!

    Prize is a freaking limited edition Firewire Flexfit hat and some stickers. See hat below.

    image

    Attachments
    		 Screen Shot 2011-10-27 at 10.35.05 AM.png 432K
    I am the fastest way to Firewire Zen. Ask and you shall receive...
    (6'0/175lbs/28/SoCal - 502PT/508DM/508SP/508SR/509FY/510MB/600AR/602FE)
  • prjwebbprjwebb October 2011
    Posts: 2,177

    I'm gonna get busy with this.

    PS, major quiver envy looking at your sig, Chris.

    6'0" 170lbs
    6'2" x 18.44" x 2.38" Taj
    6'0" x 18.81" x 2.38" Taj CBD
    5'8" x 19.25" x 2.31" Sub Scorcher
    5'8" x 20.00" x 2.38" Spitfire RF
  • chrischris October 2011
    Posts: 4,998

    Hah, well i don't own all of them....its more those are what I know fit my weight in terms of volume.

    I am the fastest way to Firewire Zen. Ask and you shall receive...
    (6'0/175lbs/28/SoCal - 502PT/508DM/508SP/508SR/509FY/510MB/600AR/602FE)
  • tugboattugboat October 2011
    Posts: 2

    the constipator

    for the guy who just can't make it out of the tube.

  • OxOx October 2011
    Posts: 358

    Board: The Claiminator

    Definition: For the contest surfer trying to get those extra few points from the judges by claiming his wave to win the heat.

    R.I.P. Andy Irons
  • skeownskeown October 2011
    Posts: 4

    Board: The Hallucinator

    For the guy who views every wave ridden by him as epic!

  • hawaiianhamhawaiianham October 2011
    Posts: 5

    Board: The Heronator

    Definition: Making every bro feel like a hero down the line.

    Kauaiian - RIP A.I
  • prjwebbprjwebb October 2011
    Posts: 2,177

    ha i feel tugboat onto a winner already!



    6'0" 170lbs
    6'2" x 18.44" x 2.38" Taj
    6'0" x 18.81" x 2.38" Taj CBD
    5'8" x 19.25" x 2.31" Sub Scorcher
    5'8" x 20.00" x 2.38" Spitfire RF
  • kpkp October 2011
    Posts: 14

    For the crazy guy that only shows up during the good swells in a beat up old truck and proceeded to surf circles around all the local bros/pros and then disappears as swiftly as they showed up

    The Obfuscator




  • hawaiianhamhawaiianham October 2011
    Posts: 5

    Stop the contest, no one will beat the Hallucinator to many of those guys in the lineup.

    Kauaiian - RIP A.I
  • prjwebbprjwebb October 2011
    Posts: 2,177

    The 'Buy-you-flowers-and-cook-you-dinner-l'ater. For the guy who's gone surfing 1 time too many.

    6'0" 170lbs
    6'2" x 18.44" x 2.38" Taj
    6'0" x 18.81" x 2.38" Taj CBD
    5'8" x 19.25" x 2.31" Sub Scorcher
    5'8" x 20.00" x 2.38" Spitfire RF
  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Spectator -- anyone who didn't bring his Sweet Potato to a half-foot mush...

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • kpkp October 2011
    Posts: 14

    The Estimator


    For the guy who is always over calling the size of the waves.

  • kpkp October 2011
    Posts: 14

    The Hesitator  - complete with soft padding and rubber fins.


    for the guy that is always going over the falls because of lack of commitment.

  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Rollator -- Developed in collaboration between TB's great-granny and Nev; a great step up shortboard from Addvance 7'6"..;p

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • OxOx October 2011
    Posts: 358

    Board: The Wimbledonator

    Definition: for the surfer that doesn't want to be a part of the dumb wannabe tennis tour anymore.

    R.I.P. Andy Irons
  • tugboattugboat October 2011
    Posts: 2

    consolidator


    for the one board quiver

  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    A Toro -- It blows, trims well and mows your lawn. What more could you ask from a surfboard..or a girlfriend.

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • GnubeeGnubee October 2011
    Posts: 133

    The Agitator, purpose built for the hordes of shoulder hopping weekend warriors. 
    The Infuriator, step-up model of the Agitator, to be used on the shoulders of perfect waves.

    The radical success of these two boards results in development of the Regulator - for locals only.

    Me: 6'6" (198cm) -195lb (88.5kg) - Intermediate, but stoked!
    My boards: 6'3" El Fuego diamond tail - 7'0" CI MBM step up
  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Aviator -- Makes you log more airtime than Howard Hughes.

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Translator -- Turns crappy windswell into Northshore glass..

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Borator -- Hides more volume than your mankini...

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • OxOx October 2011
    Posts: 358

    Board: The Caffeinator

    Definition: for the surfers that hang out in the beach parking lot drinking coffee instead of paddling out for a surf.

    R.I.P. Andy Irons
  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Inquisitor -- For the surfer who knows what's at stake.

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • skeownskeown October 2011
    Posts: 4

    The Discriminator

    For the guy who refuses to accept that girls can surf too.

  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Alanator -- Handles more curves than you can shake your stick at!

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • chrischris October 2011
    Posts: 4,998

    the procreator: for the guy who doesn't know that 3 of his children are in the lineup with him...



    Because the thread is getting long....


    I am the fastest way to Firewire Zen. Ask and you shall receive...
    (6'0/175lbs/28/SoCal - 502PT/508DM/508SP/508SR/509FY/510MB/600AR/602FE)
  • OxOx October 2011
    Posts: 358

    Board: The Internet Trollinator

    Definition: for the guy who would rather surf the Internet trolling on message boards than actually paddling out into the line up.

    R.I.P. Andy Irons
  • kdropinkdropin October 2011
    Posts: 248

    the hibernator:

    the board that you have to shelf for the winter because it won't float you anymore

    5'8 dom. fst
    5'4 sp fst
    6'2 alt. fst
  • kdropinkdropin October 2011
    Posts: 248

    the Abominator:

    for the guy who drops in on everyone

    5'8 dom. fst
    5'4 sp fst
    6'2 alt. fst
  • kdropinkdropin October 2011
    Posts: 248

    The Penetrator:

    for the surfer to likes to get deeply barreled

    5'8 dom. fst
    5'4 sp fst
    6'2 alt. fst
  • kdropinkdropin October 2011
    Posts: 248

    btw that hat is SIK!

    5'8 dom. fst
    5'4 sp fst
    6'2 alt. fst
  • stringsoundsstringsounds October 2011
    Posts: 1

    The schwartsenator


    Board for the dude who likes to walk down the beach flexed up and bowed out for the wahini's like a waxboy.

  • rover64ddrover64dd October 2011
    Posts: 385

    vibrator - a board for girls. The board of course vibrates when sat on.

    incinirator - I cant believe you guys havent used this one already (see firewire)

    negotiator - good ass samual jackson movie, for people who dont fall on sick turns when I wouldve.

    contaminator - for kids who pee in the water

    cremator - for those who burn everyone else off the wave....

    Ill leave some for others.

     

    6'4 210lbs - 9'6"FFF|9'TJPro|5'8"FSP|7'FHF|6'4 Xanadu Gipos|NE Florida
    RETIRED. Got sick of the ECFreeSurfs and forums getting news LAST.
  • rover64ddrover64dd October 2011
    Posts: 385

    conflagrator - For all you flaming australians.

    6'4 210lbs - 9'6"FFF|9'TJPro|5'8"FSP|7'FHF|6'4 Xanadu Gipos|NE Florida
    RETIRED. Got sick of the ECFreeSurfs and forums getting news LAST.
  • floridasurffloridasurf October 2011
    Posts: 5

    The Defecator  - For all those shitty days.

  • floridasurffloridasurf October 2011
    Posts: 5

    the Hymenator - Nev's first board, the one used to pop his cherry.

  • rover64ddrover64dd October 2011
    Posts: 385

    Gross...

     

    Guessinator - For everyone on here wondering which boards and techs are coming out next year.

    6'4 210lbs - 9'6"FFF|9'TJPro|5'8"FSP|7'FHF|6'4 Xanadu Gipos|NE Florida
    RETIRED. Got sick of the ECFreeSurfs and forums getting news LAST.
  • GnubeeGnubee October 2011
    Posts: 133

    The Prestidigitator  - a truly magic board.


    The Pronator  - for the knock-kneed surfer

    The Discombobulator - low volume, flat foil performance hybrid with generous nose and tail rocker.  Wide points both in front and behind the mid-point of the board. Step down rail near the nose. Bottom contours: deep vee to slight double convex, mirror imaged on deck to reduce volume.  Multiple crosswoven kevlar stringers running from rail to rail.  Five fin setup -  FCS, Futures, Lockbox, Red X, and glass on (one of each).  Marketed to the beginner surfer for use in anything from shin high to 2xOH surf.

    Me: 6'6" (198cm) -195lb (88.5kg) - Intermediate, but stoked!
    My boards: 6'3" El Fuego diamond tail - 7'0" CI MBM step up
  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Onanator -- For surfers who'd rather stick to themselves at the lineup

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Ulan Bator -- Perfect travel board for the nomadic surfer

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • rover64ddrover64dd October 2011
    Posts: 385

    Norrisator - Chuck Norris doesnt need to surf with a board. But if he did, he would surf with this one.

    Mostinterestingmanintheworldinator - He doesnt usually surf. But if does, he prefers Firewire.

    6'4 210lbs - 9'6"FFF|9'TJPro|5'8"FSP|7'FHF|6'4 Xanadu Gipos|NE Florida
    RETIRED. Got sick of the ECFreeSurfs and forums getting news LAST.
  • rover64ddrover64dd October 2011
    Posts: 385

    Capslockinator - FOR PEOPLE WHO TYPE IN ALL CAPS.

    Tudorator - a firewire egg shape for the retro lovers. I could do this all day can I get a hat please?

    6'4 210lbs - 9'6"FFF|9'TJPro|5'8"FSP|7'FHF|6'4 Xanadu Gipos|NE Florida
    RETIRED. Got sick of the ECFreeSurfs and forums getting news LAST.
  • rover64ddrover64dd October 2011
    Posts: 385

    Obsessinator -

    Courtesy my girlfriend. A board for a guy who talks surfing to everyone everywhere all the time. Stays up late on surfing forums giving her updates on what people say, even though she has to get up at 5am to go to work. Has shown her virtually every performance longboard video ever made, and trailers for all the upcoming ones. Has drilled names in her head so much she can name the top 10 surfers in both mens divisions. Has educated someone who knows nothing about and could care less about surfing about every little detail of board construction, pro surfers, tricks, history, fins, leashes, pads, wax, wetsuits, even board racks for a car. All while he shouldve been doing his homework.

    6'4 210lbs - 9'6"FFF|9'TJPro|5'8"FSP|7'FHF|6'4 Xanadu Gipos|NE Florida
    RETIRED. Got sick of the ECFreeSurfs and forums getting news LAST.
  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Procrastinator -- For the surfer who perpetually keeps putting off paddling out until the next tidal phase, day or when the crowded lineup clears out

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Devastator -- For the bigmouthed 50 ft gorilla with dazzling green eyes and a pair of wrecking balls hanging from its crotch.

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • GnubeeGnubee October 2011
    Posts: 133

    The Collaborator - board designed based exclusively on input from Firewire forum members

    Me: 6'6" (198cm) -195lb (88.5kg) - Intermediate, but stoked!
    My boards: 6'3" El Fuego diamond tail - 7'0" CI MBM step up
  • stylarstylar October 2011
    Posts: 88

    The Divorcenator - Built with Rabid Fury Technothingy, that makes you wish you could fly....away.....to Gland....forever.
    This boards Flex pattern and pair of bullsh!t lies will have you stroking into perfect pits and throwing buckets for hours. *******Warning*******Excessive use will place relationships under extreme pressure. Ensure there are no cracks showing in relationship before use.
    Firewife surfboards     acknowlege's that no relationship is indestructible, and advises this board be stored out of sight from partners view to prolong boards structual integrity. *****FIREWIFE NEWS UPDATE**********
    Now comes in ventless technology. The removal of the boards vent has proven successful in lowering the chances of the board being hit by a hammer. Firewife accepts no responsibility if board is found in piece's  and advises all hammers to be removed by a reputable Firewife hammer removal specialist.

  • ManaMana October 2011
    Posts: 36

    The Radiator -- World's first power heated surfboard. Combine with the H-Bomb steamer to keep you toasty through those midwinter sessions.

    5'8" 195lbs Koa DOM 604 thruster with Rusty R1 Futures, SP 508 quad with FCS JW-1 sides and SF4 trailers
  • JET01JET01 October 2011
    Posts: 24

    The Elevator : for boosting the biggest airs.

    80kgs 5'10" - no firewire at the moment. Looking for 5'8 dominator in FST.
  • kpkp October 2011
    Posts: 14

    The Emancipator


    For everyone. It will free you to surf in ways never thought imaginable.

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